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The Date Mentors Program
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High Fidelity
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21.11.10
Dating-and-Courtship
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The Art of Dating Book
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Pride & Prejudice
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20.11.10
Barlowgirl
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Arousing Love
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18.11.10
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
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Your Choice Dating
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17.11.10
The Geek's Guide To Dating
Learn the secrets to dating success. Get answers and expert advice on love, attraction, dating and relationships. Dating tips and relationship advice for men and women.
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Internet Dating Mastery
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The Bounce Back To Dating Formula
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Dating Supercharge!!!
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All-Star Dating & Attraction for Women
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The Magic Of Senior Dating - Online Dating Tips
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300 Creative Dates - By Oprah Dating and Relationship Expert
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How To Avoid Dating Damaged Women
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The Date Mentors Program
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Dating for Geeks
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The Online Dating Bible eBook
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Online Dating Secrets!
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Date a Stunning
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12 Secrets Of Online Dating
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14.11.10
How Ugly Guys Get Babes
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My husband can't get over HIS affair.
4 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2010)A female 
age 26-29, *adameVaile writes:
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Explain that it was enough that he had the affair, and would he please not hurt you now by not believing that you have truly forgiven him. Tell him that if he wants to make it up to you, he can - by being there for you, by being with you, by letting you have the lovely life with him that you want. Tell him that only he can do this, because it is only him that you love. Tell him, you silly bugger, whatever you have done or do, I love and need you, so you aren't allowed to have a crisis. Tell him just to come back, and that you will work it out together. And then book a first counselling session and tell him that he also has to come to counselling - not to talk about you, because you are fine, but to sort out his lingering guilt. I suspect you can't tell him too much that you love him. Remind him that nobody is perfect. Thanks. I have timidly suggested counseling, and I will suggest it again because I think you're both right.... the guilt is a "good" punishment but it's overburdening him after 2 years of not talking about it and in turn that hurts me. Thanks again! ............................... 
He is full of guilt, and regret. I think it's lovely for him to feel this way. That is punishment in itself. After all these years, he has realized what he has. You may have to reassure him that you must both forget the past because this is putting blot on what y ou could still improve on with your life ahead. He is a very lucky man and he knows it, but he is in danger of destroying what you have now if he doesnt get his act together. Good Luck! ............................... 
You've already helped him by forgiving him. While you really have nothing to "prove"... go ahead and go the step further and suggest that the two of you attend counselling. If that doesn't help get this behind you, then probably nothing will..... Good luck. ...............................
age 26-29, *adameVaile writes: My husband had an affair 2 years ago, and we worked through issues, the affair ended and life went on.
3 weeks ago we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary with a vow renewal ceremony, and I noticed after that he started acting very depressed. I questioned him about it and he says he doesn't deserve me, and he doesn't understand how I can stay with him, etc. He has gone to stay with a friend while he resolves his issues of depression/ feeling inadequate, but I don't know what to do. I love him very much, and I forgive him! How do I prove it? How do I help him forgive himself?View related questions: affair, anniversary, depressed, wedding
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A female reader, natasia 
+, writes (6 November 2010):
A female reader, MadameVaile +, writes (6 November 2010):
A female reader, petina1 +, writes (6 November 2010):
A male reader, Sageoldguy + ?, writes (6 November 2010):
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I don't know how she feels but she has a bf already...
A male age 18-21, anonymous writes:
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age 18-21, anonymous writes: Okay the basic details are this:
I'm 20 and at university and have just started my second year. Half way through the first year I met this girl and from the moment I saw her I thought she was stunning. I got talking to her and her personality was 10/10. She's funny, hard working, smart etc. To make things easier from now on I'll refer to her as Sarah. I used to be really awkward around girls when I was in my mid teens and always used to go in to what is known by many as "The Friend Zone". When I hit 18 though I started to become a bit of a ladies man and have ended up getting a reputation around my year at uni for being a flirt - not meaning to sound too big headed but an example of how good I am is how at a halloween party last year (before I met the girl who I fancy now) a girl literally hated me at the start but by the end of the night I went back to hers and slept with her. When I'm around Sarah though I kinda revert back to how I used to be around girls. I mean I'm not socially retarded around her but I'm by no means by usual confident flirty charming self unless I've had a few drinks...and even then I'm more confident flirty then confident charming. When I first met her though she made a point that her and her bf were really close and that she didn't even hug guys or anything so initially I didn't try to do anything about her. Eventually summer break rolled around and I ended up missing her loads but didn't know what to do about it. We all started back at uni in September and since then I've decided to try and be a bit of a douche and just see what happens. We used to go out a lot and we used to buy eachother drinks, there was some casual flirting and touching, lots of texting, some intimate hugging (some of which was caught on camera which I'll talk about in a second) and a few people even thought we were a couple on the odd occasion. This has all since changed though because her bf saw one of the pictures of us on facebook looking pretty close to eachother and from what I hear from her housemates he's not a happy bunny. He came out with us one night and even though I am usually a cheeky flirty guy with about every girl (just for a laugh) I genuinely held back around her and didn't flirt in the slightest but her bf apparently had a word with her after and told her I must fancy her. She wasn't awkward around or anything the day after though and her housemate just said she shrugged it off - which is completely opposite to how she usually reacts when she finds out guys who she doesnt fancy fancy her. From what she's told me they get on really well when they're not actually face to face and they're just texting eachother but when he comes over in the weekend they fight a lot. Apparently thats just how they've always been with eachother so it's not even like they're fighting about me. Sometimes she says things that make me think shes unhappy with him but a couple of nights ago I went around to hers with her housemates. Both her housemates know I fancy her so randomly started going on about her bf. They literally all talked for about 40 odd minutes while I just sat there listening. They covered good things about him and bad things and my general impression from what she said is that she loves him (which tbh made me sad) because he spoils her. From a third person perspective though I don't understand why though. She doesn't seem like the shallow materialistic type of person but from what she said last night it seems the only reason she "loves" him is because he get's her presents when he comes over every other weekend. I honestly don't know what to do about it all. We both seem to get on REALLY well but she also seems happy with her bf and I dont want to upset her if she really feels like she loves him. At the same time though I know I can give her exactly the same plus so much more PLUS we get on really well when we are face to face (which is definitely more then her and her bf). I hope all of this makes sense and it's not too long but I desperately need ideas for what to do.View related questions: facebook, flirt, her ex, text, university
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I wrote a love letter to my teacher!
1 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2010)A female 
age 16-17, *apphire_torte writes:
Shareerm.. i would not tell your teacher as he may react and take the situation further than its intended to go wait till you have finished school / collegee and then tell him or if you cant wait ..... go do it but like it said may get took further than it was intended to go .. .:)
age 16-17, *apphire_torte writes: Hi,
I'm 17 year old girl. Well, that's obvious that I'm still in high school. Since I'm in Indonesia, I have two native speakers from Europe and USA to train our english. But, I think I like "Mr.A" from Europe.He's new in my school, replacing my previous native teacher. It all begun when he joined my school on August 2010 when I first saw him, he was talking with my headmaster. I was with my friend running toward the library. I peeked through the library's door. Yes, I could see him clearly, his hair's brown, with green eyes and a bit pale skin. He's 31 years old by the way. So,one day, he came into my class for the first time. I thought he could be someone who's very funny and friendly, but I was wrong. He's very stiff and strict. Most of my friends hate him because he's not so like the previous native teacher who was hilarious and friendly. Sometimes "Mr.A" gets angry in the class because some of the students speak inappropriately. He expelled one of my friends from class because she spoke impolitely. Since that, most of the classes dislike him. But He has never done anything like that to me. He's being nice to me and smiles a lot to me. I joined "The English Club" for the extracurricular without knowing the teacher would be "Mr.A". Of course, I was extremely nervous. I couldn't resist his charm and the way he looked at me, it was stunning. He was like staring at me for several times and I looked back right into his eyes. Yes, I was blushed but I don't think he realized it. Since that day, I started to think about him. The more I think about him, the more I like him. Till one day, I presumed myself to write him a secret letter. I was helped by my other english teacher. My teacher said "Mr.A" read the letter and smiled a little because I wrote my initial ( G.N ) so it's like secret admire's love letter. So till now, he doesn't even know who is G.N. I keep doing some conversation with him, even cook together. I served him some foods and he was like appreciated it. I was very glad and also blushed. Well, this year will be my last year in high school. I don't know what should I do. Should I let him know about this feelings or just keep it inside? Please I need advice. Thank you.View related questions: my teacher
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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):
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Do I tell my boyfriend his friend hit on me?
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A female reader, Closet romance14 + ?, writes (6 November 2010):
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He's married but separated, is he taking me for a ride?
2 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2010)A female 
age 26-29, anonymous writes:
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age 26-29, anonymous writes: hi im a 28 year old woman in love with a 32 year old guy,we have been dating 6 months now and its really intense from the start,here is the problem:
he is married but separated from his wife for the last 2 years they have lived apart in different cities but they have a 3 n half year old son whom he loves. the thing is that im so much in love with him and had a wild past and have mellowed and changed over the years its just that any time there is an issue he brings up my past and insults me when he is drinking he is other wise really good to me,he gets really verbally abusive and also when i ask him about his marital status he says hes separated and only visits that town to see his son but he isnt asking her for a divorce do you think im being taken for a ride and also i was married before and it was terrible marriage he seems insecure about anything i do or say and even more about my past im tired of being in love n faithful to him im so depressed.do men that way change at all?View related questions: depressed, divorce, insecure
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13.11.10
Handjob and Blowjob at the movies?
6 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2010)A female age 16-17, anonymous writes:
ShareIf you do that in the movies you could very well be labeled a sex offender, and your life will be ruined. 
Yes. Hand jobs are well known to be the gate way act to hard core sex like BJ's. ............................... OK. Number 1, don't be so daft: you can't give him a handjob at the movies!! Have you gone mad? People will be sitting all around you, and possibly children! So, whatever you do, it is something to do in private, on your own with him. Next thing ... how to do it? I will let other aunts explain that, and the same with the blowjob, but the main principle is: do what feels natural. I have to say, though, that I can't imagine giving a blowjob either with a condom or a mouthguard.!!!! I would sincerely hope that your boyfriend doesn't have any STDs - better to get him checked and then go ahead, but really, I don't think you or he will enjoy a blowjob with you wearing a mouthguard. I have never even heard of such a thing. Call me either old-fashioned or stupid, but what an idea ... much better to get him checked out! ............................... I agree you shouldn't do it at the movies, you could get caught by one of the ushers and thrown out or charges pressed against you. A handjob in my opinion is something guys can do themselves on their own time. It's like taking the orange juice out of the fridge and shaking up all the pulp that rests at the bottom. Only you want to do slow up and down motions..and your wrist tires after a while. A blow job, you just pretend you're licking and sucking on the best popsicle or lollipop you've ever had. Now they don't usually go hand in hand..it's either one or the other. If you're going to do both, then that's just being too generous. You might to have time of where you get yours too. ............................... 
I don't reccomend you do such things at the movies, some theaters have cameras for just that reason. A hanjob starts off with touching, kissing. Usually, you touch a person's chest, and work ur way down. You touch through the clothes first and then, go from there. And no a hanjob does NOT have to lead to a blowjob, that's usually up to you. While performing a blowjob, I would hope that condoms be used. Oral sex does lead to STDs and other health issues...so, flavored condoms were invented in the hope that STDs would be reduced. Mouth guards are another option. ............................... 
Leave that stuff in the bedroom and private and away from others doll. Im sure your bf would appreciate that. ...............................
age 16-17, anonymous writes: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while over 2 months now, but I'm never actually the one to actually DO anything. I've never actually given a handjob, or blowjob. But I really want to pleasure him the way he pleasures me. Just recently he fingered me, it weas so great, so now my question is, just how to begin to give a handjob,... at the movies, and Can a handjob lead to a blowjob?
View related questions: blow-job, hand-job
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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):
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Return to wife? Pursue divorce? Stay separted? What to do?
3 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2010)A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:
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Hi well am going to start with this other woman, i think you need to let her go, she has made it crystal clear to you that she is involved in someone else and no matter how much this hurts you need to accept this and accept that nothing is going to happen between the both of you i dont even think that it is a good idea for you to still remain friends with her as this will be hard on you if you have strong feelings for her, but if you think you can over come these feelings then maybe you could try and persue a friendship with her but you need to realise that this is all its ever going to be. As for your wife i think that you should remain seperated for the time being anyway, it doesnt sound like you want to be with her and there is no point going back to her because you feel lonely or because things didnt work out with the other woman, it sounds like your marriage has died therefore i think you need to concentrate on your own life now and build up a new life for yourself. Oh dear. What a pity that the other woman met that old boyfriend! : ( But at the same time, if she had really really wanted to be with you, she wouldn't haven't fallen prey to the old boyfriend. And if she wanted to be with you now, she would be, I think. No, I think you have to give up on the other woman for the moment. As for your wife, hmm. It is a great pity that you have also had these problems with your daughter, as it turns them into a bit of a team against you. Having said that, your wife does want you back. Although she would appear to be quite undemonstrative in some ways, that is a positive note, that she has said she wants you. You have to ask yourself some hard questions, I think. Eg: - Do you feel more free, happier and more hopeful now that you are on your own? - Do you find the idea of the comfort of going home appealing? - Can you talk to your wife about things changing if you go back? - Were the issues that your daughter had with you fair, do you think? Should you, or she, change? Is there any way you can approach or understand her differently? - Are there any other women you like? I tend to think this: You should give up on the other woman at the moment. You could go back to your wife, with conditions, and with her understanding that should things become hopeless again, you would leave again. You could stay on your own and see what comes along. It depends how much you love your wife, and how free or otherwise you feel without her. I don't feel as if you owe her a huge amount, because the way you present it, you have tried really quite hard to save the marriage, and haven't had so much positive input from her. But now you've gone, she wants you back. She might need to work a little harder at it. I almost think you should tell her about your liking for the other woman, to jolt her into action. But then again, it will upset her, and why do that? It probably isn't worth it. You weren't unfaithful in body, but perhaps in spirit. Good luck with it ... ............................... 
Some people choose to stay in an empty marriage, due to emotional co-dependency or feeling obligated. Learning to be single, and discovering who we are - takes getting used to. But while we are single, we get to discover ourselves again through the opposite sex. They take us on many experiences. Some are great, some not so great until we learn how to navigate our way around with them. But rarely do we regret it. At the end of your life - what will you be thinking if you chose a. or b.? If you stay with your wife, (out of co-dependency or because it reduces some loneliness) - will you be thinking.... gee I wish I allowed myself to experience women alot more? Or will you be pleased that you stayed? Many people that are married put on a facade and act as though they are happy. But this is just to please society as well as friends and family. Society regards it as the 'right thing to do'. Yet sometimes we need to be a rebel and say 'to hell with it - this is my life and I must find what suits me now'. I'm sure you've provided as a father and done your job as a parent. Is it now time for you? I lost a few friends when I separated. But I realised they were friends who's love was conditional - that I did what appeared to be right in the eyes of society. I then became a rebel and said 'to hell with everyone! I'm going to have some fun!' People eventually respected me and I sought more open minded people to befriend. You must listen to your heart. No one can tell you really. ...............................
age 41-50, anonymous writes: Well, I'm wondering what I should do now.
I am in a long-term marriage of over 25 years but for many of those years felt very lonely. My wife and I had drifted very far apart and it seemed like we had very little in common any longer except for the children (two grown and gone and one well along in high school). I would try to find things that we could do together, but was often turned down or it just wasn't very much fun for one of us. For years I had been thinking that I needed to make sure the children were grown first and then would see what to do. I guess I was somewhat old-fashioned that way. I really wanted to be around to raise my children and my sons speak well of how I was involved in their lives when they were growing up. My daughter in high school is completely different and is always critical of me or simply ignores me. Well, two years ago now, I met someone who was separated and she and I hit it off really well. (She had been married over 20 years but her husband had had frequent affairs, been abusive and had spent all their money.) She had two daughters and I really developed a friendship for them as well. We spoke often about all different topics together and it was great to have someone to talk with again. She is a student who is back at community college again working toward a degree and I was able to help her a lot. Even her mother liked me when we met. Our friendship developed over around a year and we talked about a future together but I had to resolve my marriage issue first. After the first year that I knew her, she was contacted again by an old boyfriend and they hit it off together. She told her old boyfriend about me though and that she wanted to stay in touch with me and so we continued to call and meet often at the school, Y or other places. Outside of hugs there was nothing physical though. I found a marriage counseler and went. I tried to get my wife to go with me, but she only went a few times and then refused to go any longer. My relationship with my wife and daughter continued to decrease over the next 9 months and I moved out of the house in July. I continue to go to the marriage counseler and have continued to express an interest to my wife of having her go too, but she still refuses. The marriage counselor knows only the issues with my wife, not the other woman I have had the deep friendship (emotional affair?) with. Well, I certainly had hoped that my relationship with the other woman would strengthen after I left my wife, but she now claims that she loves her old boyfriend. (Remember she has not finalized her divorce yet even though it has been well over 2 years since she left her ex-husband.) She wants to stay friends with me and we still can talk about anything, but she is clear that she is now with this other guy and that we would not be able to talk as often. I have told her how I feel about her and now don't know what to do. My wife still doesn't know anything about the other woman. She still won't visit the marriage counseler either although we have gone on a few dates together. We seem very far apart though on what we want for our futures. I could return to my wife, who says she would like to have me return, but am afraid that our marriage would just turn hollow again. I would like to be with the other woman, and that may happen if she ever broke up with her current boyfriend, but that doesn't seem like much of a plan. The marriage counseler is trying to get me to decide about whether or not to stay in the marriage so that I can move forward one way or another. Right now, I remain in an apartment and although I am lonely, it is very seldom that I'm lonely for my wife. I tend to make friends fairly easily (although not deep ones) and have many superficial friendships with other women. Any advice on what I should do? Return to my wife? Pursue a divorce? Stay separated for the next 6 months or year at least?View related questions: affair, broke up, divorce, her ex, money, moved out
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A female reader, aunt honesty 
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Who here doesn't have a facebook and is fine without it?
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